• Sarah AlRehaimi

What we can learn about ourselves after pointing our finger at others

Updated: Jan 30, 2019

In March of 2018, I felt let down by the startup incubator I was part of, the Prince Sultan Fund for Women (PSFW). Basically, rent was due, I couldn't pay the full amount, and I asked for some time. I was denied. I had no choice but to pack up and leave. I felt an array of feelings that ranged from anger, disappointment, betrayal, sadness, dismay, and helplessness.

So I started pointing fingers. First of all I blamed the management at the PSFW incubator. For 2 years (while paying the rent on time) I've heard them preach how they are "here to support Saudi women", "we are proud of our girls", and "she's doing great things". Where were they now when I really needed their support?

Then I pointed the finger at my husband. I came to him a week before and asked to borrow the money for the rent, but he urged to ask for the extension. By the time he agreed to the loan and I came back to the management (which was literally only 24 hours), it was too late. I was informed that my place was rented out to another business. It was actually another business from the same incubator who was looking for a space on the ground floor where my workshop was, instead of the first. (I always felt sorry for those businesses on the second floor. It couldn't be easy lugging your supplies and orders up and down all the time). But really? that fast?

After my initial frustration calmed down, I decided to get back to work. No victims here, only unfortunate circumstances. I wanted to change my thoughts about what happened. So this is what I decided:

1. The management at PSFW made a business decision. I was naive to think they cared. I was only a tenant paying rent, and to assume otherwise was foolish. The support claims they made were only propaganda, it looked good for television, but I'm guilty of making claims to promote them in the eyes of the media as well. We all do it, and that's just the way of the world in when comes to business. We all have our own agendas we need to keep.

2. I let my ego get in the way of what needed to be done. My husband is a good man who has always supported me, and I know if I had come to him sooner asking for the money he would have given it to me in time. But I didn't want to ask anyone for money. I wanted my business to stand on it's own. It wasn't that I wasn't making enough, I just wasn't making it fast enough. I would have had the full amount in a few weeks time but I never thought I would be refused the extension on paying the rent.

The only constant is change. Being an entrepreneur for the first time I've had my fair share of ups and downs, and there is more to come. We can't control what happens around us. We can only control our thoughts and our actions to those changes. Don't blame anyone, just pick yourself up and take another step forward.

Desert plants don't blame the weather when there's a drought. They're just happy when it rains.

#lifelessons #growth #entitlement #disappointment

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